Relax -- Single Parent

Life as a single parent can be emotionally, mentally and physically draining. They have to handle work, household chores and children all the same time. They have to play the roles of both ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’ single-handedly. Here are some tips to plan your schedule, take out some time to relax, manage everything and remain sane for single parents:

• Stop being bogged down with guilt and regret for things you are not able to do.
• Before going to bed at night, plan the next day.
• In the morning, first review your priorities and do things likewise.
• You may have to compromise with some things and learn to prioritize. Perhaps, doing laundry is more important than mopping and sweeping one day or visiting the school of children may override your visit to the bank on another day.
• Paperless desk fills you with positive thoughts, so avoid clutter and throw anything you can. Try to see a paper, work on it immediately and get it out of your way or just file it away, if it’s for future.
• Skills used for office management prove handy at home too. Clean workplace and three folders labeled ‘Urgent’, ‘ASAP’ and ‘To be Filed’ will make your life much more easier.
• Good filing system will ensure that you don’t have to spend hours looking for some paper later on in the long run. Labeled manila file folders should be kept in a file cabinet with drawers.
• A small tape recorder with headphones can allow you to schedule anything that comes to your mind while driving or cooking. You can do planning, make appointments and listen to songs and even novels too.
• Ask for help from other family members, neighbors and friends or whoever is willing to help and let the kids help too.
• Set alarms for everything and concentrate on only one thing for a set period of time. When the alarm rings, move on to another task and leave the task at hand for another day.
• Set about half an hour in the evening just for your child and let him or her know that at this time he or she can get your undivided attention. If necessary, turn off the mobile and keep the phone off the hook, so there are no distractions.
• Set about 20 minutes for just yourself too and do whatever makes you feel better such as relax, scream, exercise, cry or laugh. Teach the child not to interrupt you at that time and you may make somebody see young children for just that time. The timer may tell the child, when he can speak to you again.
• Things or fulfilling child’s every wish and whim cannot replace the missing parent ever. Over-compensation the children may just spoil them and they may turn selfish and may try to control you.
• Once a month, ask someone to baby-sit your child while you can try and do all the short errands and odd jobs on the appointed day.
• Things do get out of control sometimes and you can take time to just relax or think over things while you are waiting in traffic or queues.
• If you are too tired or stressed, do not feel ashamed of putting off things or procrastinating.
  Writing up notes, addresses and phone numbers on a small diary or small cards that can be put in file will keep you from losing them.
  On weekends, just relax and enjoy time with your child. Get all work done on weekdays itself.
  Share work and time with your kids and try to do it now such as cleaning kid’s room and get older kids help to cook and then go on a fun trip together.

Getting Married at 13

Teen marriage was not a big issue in the old times. Life expectancy was shorter then and most of our economy was depended on agriculture and farming. People were less educated and large number of children was considered a boon as it meant more hands to work and greater prosperity. But times have changed now. Boys and girls both are opting for higher education and a good financial position before they marry. They have become more conscious about their health, birth control and know more about sex and how to avoid unplanned pregnancy. Trying to achieve ambitions before taking on the responsibility of marriage results in delay of marriage and child bearing.

Thus, support systems for these very young couples have diminished and even become non-existent and they have become an exception in the society. Teenage marriage has become a challenge in the modern age. The first reason that comes to our minds about a teenage marriage is an unplanned pregnancy, and rightly so. Most of the adolescents who decide to have an early marriage do so because they are faced with an unplanned pregnancy and they feel that they need to bear the responsibility of the child, even though they are not settled in their own lives. While abortions and adoptions are an option, they think that they have done something wrong and it is their duty to bear the consequences too. It is a very wrong approach to marriage, to start with.

Most teens are still not educated or mature enough or have enough financial responsibilities to shoulder a family or parenthood. In such cases, adoption is an opportunity where the teens may place their child in loving hands and give them a secure life while they can work to become more stable themselves. They may also consider open adoption, so that they can meet their child when they are ready and see how the child is doing in his or her life. Some of the challenges that teenage couples may have to face include not having the privilege to sign for even the most basic of services such as renting or car purchasing.

Though, in some countries they may attain the ‘adult’ status by marriage if not by age, in most places it is not so. The other challenges may include that married teenagers may not get admissions to some public school systems easily and they can miss the educational opportunities. They may not be able to buy insurance for themselves, especially if they do not have parent’s financial support. Many insurance policies do not allow married teens with separate households to be covered by their parents’ insurance, regardless of their ages.

There may be financial aid programs available for married teens at some places where they do not have to reveal parental sources of income and can attain educational assistance. Then, there are normal problems associated with ‘growing up’ that can get much more complicated and difficult with family responsibilities to bear and the couple may miss the critical time for learning and development. Thus, it is better to avoid teenage marriages and wait until the couple attains the status of ‘adult’ before starting a family life.

Mom I'm Pregnant

Rising numbers of teenage pregnancy are often quoted to prove that our society is going downhill. Young pregnant teens can be seen casual about their unplanned pregnancy, perhaps unaware of the huge responsibility that is on their way to get to them where they will have to care for a child on their own. The world seems to go topsy-turvy as mothers are yet kids and kids have become mothers.

The irony of the situation is that while people blame younger generation for being so irresponsible, little attention is paid to the generation who is parenting these teenagers and what they are doing to ensure their child’s safety and a secure future for her. Today, both the parents are working hard to ear more bucks and buy everything precious to fill their house with.

In the process, they forget that where the most precious thing in their life has got lost and what has become of their children. While they are trying to fulfill their dreams and afford their children’s dreams too, they forget to ask their children what they really need. They lose interest in parenting their children and the child misses out on love and affection, the two most needed things in a child’s life.

It is then that child try to find them with someone their own age and try to start out their own families. However, they are still not mature nor they have ever learnt to sustain relationships by example of their parents and family members and they break up. Teen pregnancies do not only mean that birth control had not been used properly but also that they are probably the results of promiscuous behavior in the face of seeming parental indifference.